Many of the patterns that create stress, people-pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking, emotional withdrawal, or difficulty trusting others were formed long ago as ways to stay safe.
Take this free 3-minute The Heart House Method (THHM) assessment to discover which survival pattern may be influencing your relationships, decisions, and sense of self—and learn the first step toward creating lasting change.
The Quiz
1. When conflict arises, I tend to:
A. Keep everyone happy
B. Shut down and withdraw
C. Defend myself immediately
D. Work harder and prove my worth
2. When I make a mistake, my inner voice is usually:
A. “Don’t upset anyone.”
B. “Just disappear.”
C. “Protect yourself.”
D. “You should have done better.”
3. Which statement feels most familiar?
A. I often put others before myself.
B. I keep people at a distance.
C. I struggle to trust people.
D. I feel responsible for everything.
4. In relationships I most often:
A. Over-give
B. Pull away
C. Stay guarded
D. Perform and achieve
5. When I feel emotionally overwhelmed I:
A. Caretake others
B. Numb out
C. Become reactive
D. Become productive
6. Deep down I fear:
A. Rejection
B. Vulnerability
C. Being hurt
D. Not being enough
7. My needs often feel:
A. Less important than others’
B. Unsafe to express
C. Risky to share
D. Like a burden
8. I often find myself:
A. Seeking approval
B. Isolating
C. Controlling outcomes
D. Chasing achievement
9. When someone disappoints me:
A. I make excuses for them.
B. I withdraw.
C. I become defensive.
D. I try harder.
10. Which phrase feels most true?
A. “I need to be needed.”
B. “I need to protect myself.”
C. “I need to stay in control.”
D. “I need to earn my worth.”
